Regret
by DataIntegrationThoughtEntity
Summary: After the first war, Cagalli reflects on everything that's happened. CagalliAngst. Oneshot.


**Author's Notes:** Hi. It's me. You probably don't know who I am, though. Too bad. So this is a Cagalliangst fic. BTW, Cagalli is my fav character. I like writing angst about characters I like. I'm evil... Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Gundam Seed cuz if I did, there'd be a lot more Cagalli screen time in GSD.

She sighed. The sixteen-year-old blonde brushed away all the paperwork and walked up to the large window. She leaned on the ledge and stared out, surveying her country.

_My country… _

She ran her right hand through her hair slowly. _My country… why? Why me? Why'd all this have to happen?_

At only sixteen, Cagalli Yula Attha was already the head representative of Orb. She had inherited the country after the death of her adoptive father, Uzumi Nara Attha.

Reluctantly, Cagalli strolled back to her desk and slumped down on the chair. She picked up a random piece of paper and, resting her head on her fist, read it. It was basically something about a major strike going on in the north district of Orb, causing economic damage to the country.

The tomboyish princess straightened up and opened her desk drawer. She took out her favorite ballpoint pen and signed the little space at the bottom of the piece of paper, thus giving her authorization to respond to the strike. Before storing her pen back into the drawer, she frowned as memories came back to her.

_Athrun gave me this pen last year. Sure, it's a crummy gift, but it's the thought that counts, right? And the gift is actually useful: I always use it to sign forms. _Cagalli shook her head and threw the pen into the open drawer. _Athrun… what are you doing? We've been distant the past few months… I mean, sure, he's my bodyguard so he's often around me, but I rarely get to spend time with him when he's not on duty. It's like, I'm talking to my bodyguard, not Athrun. _

At that moment, there was a knock on the door. "Come in." she said, her voice weary.

In came her secretary, with an enormous smile, totally oblivious to the stress the blonde was enduring. "Good afternoon, Representative Attha. This came in the mail."

The secretary then mercilessly dumped a load of letters and **_more _**paperwork onto Cagalli's desk.

For a moment, the teenager was tempted to groan loudly and strangle her secretary. But she controlled her boiling rage and simply eyed the 'mail' with contempt. Lots of contempt.

Now either the secretary didn't notice the venomous look Cagalli gave to the 'mail' or she just ignored it. "Representative Attha, the Minister of Health has arranged a meeting with you tomorrow afternoon at four."

Cagalli nodded, not daring to talk for fear she'd say something wrong.

The secretary flashed her a smile, then left, closing the door behind her.

The Representative buried her head in her arms. _Tomorrow at four… I had hoped to go visit Kira and Lacus at four… It seems that I don't have time to do anything anymore._

She lifted her head and poked the paperwork. Then, she half-heartedly picked up a letter and tore open the envelope. Then she threw the envelope (or what was left of it) into the recycling bin next to her desk. As she read the letter, her mind began to wander.

_Why am I doing this? Why do I have to do this? Why is this my responsibility? _

She creased her brow as her thought strayed to her adoptive father. _Ah, who am I kidding? Ever since he died, I've had this responsibility. He… sacrificed his life for this country, staying true to Orb's ideals until the bitter end. He was a great Representative… and I'll never be anything like him. I'm not even related to him… not genetically, anyways._

She dropped the letter. _Everyone expects me to live up to their expectations. They want me to be just like my father and I… I just can't do that. I just can't do that._

Cagalli could feel tears begin to form in her auburn orbs. She wiped them away with her sleeve. The tears began to drop anyways, wetting the luxurious carpet. _Huh, I wonder how much that carpet costs? Probably a fortune. Most people would do anything for my job, just for the power and the luxury. They don't understand, being a leader is a great responsibility, a burden._

She sniffed. _What's happening? Everything just went wrong during the war. War truly is a horrible thing… not just because people die. In the end, it's the people who don't die that suffer the most._

She smiled grimly as she remembered something that she had said once, to Athrun. _Kill because someone was killed, get killed for killing another, do you really think peace will come that way? _

_If only people had grasped that concept sooner, none of this would have happened…_

Cagalli wiped away her tears. _This is no time for regret, Cagalli, it's much too late for that. You've got to do what everyone wants you to do. It's your duty._

So, sitting up straight, she boldly took the role of Head Representative Attha once more.

**Author's Notes: **So? It's not that good, but I was pretty tired when I wrote it. Might have a typo here or there. Oh, well. Still, I want your feedback. :)


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